yes I still own a phone... no I dont answer it anymore...

Im sorry I havent called anyone or answered any phone calls. This week has been exhausting and tougher than I thought it would be. Thank goodness Greg is here and doing everything, I know he is exhausted too but he has really been a rock.

Luke is amazing. He is such a good, good baby. He is mellow and happy all of the time. He sleeps and eats and sleeps and eats. Unfortunately, the eating part is not going all that well. For the first 4 days I did only breastfeeding every 2 hours, and I thought my milk was starting to come in and I thought he was doing "ok". But I knew he wasnt having wet diapers and he wasnt pooping, I guess I was just hoping it would fix itself. We went to the doctor Monday and his weight was down to 8lbs 8oz, more than 13% of his original weight and much more than is acceptable. Sooooo, the doctor sent me over to meet with a lactation consultant and told us we had to start supplementing him with formula or pumped breast milk. I fed Luke with the lactation consultant and she really thought he was doing ok latching and sucking, but when we weighed him to see how much milk he had taken, it was 0. Soooo either I had no milk or he wasnt transferring it. She set me up with a pump and syringe/dropper feedings. So basically since monday our schedule has been nursing for 20-30 min, then syringe feeding for 20 min, then pumping for 20 min, then starting over 2 hours from when we started. Its exhausting to say the least. Now Luke is kinda disengaging from feeding since there is no milk there, he latches for about 5 min and thn falls asleep. I rented a scale today to start seeing what he was getting when I nursed and after 20 min he only got about 1tsp. Im frustrated and exhausted. I want to stick it out but I just dont see how that is realistic. Greg is going back to work the middle of next week and there is no way I can keep this up and watch Gracyn. So anyway, here is my plan... I have started a medicine today to see if it helps my supply. Im going to nurse him every 3 hours, and attempt to give him the supplement through a feeding tube while we nurse. If there has not been an inrease in my milk by Sunday than I am going to bow out and just give him a bottle. So thank you if you have read that novel... I didnt set out to write such a book!!!

Gracyn is having good moments and bad moments, probably more of the bad moments unfortunately. She has had some pretty jealous melt downs, but there have been lots of kisses and hugs as well! Its definitely been an adjustment for all of us, but no matter how exhausted I am, or frustrated I get, all I have to do is look down at this sweet little man sleeping on my chest while I type this and I fall completely in love over and over. I really never imagined I could love anyone as much as I love Gracyn, no matter how many people told me I could... its simply amazing.

Anyway thanks for reading all of this. I promise to come out of my hole next week and start answering the phone. I also promise to post some pictures! If you havent already, check out the post below with links to my friends' flickr pages. They got some amazing shots!!!